Friday, May 18, 2007

Suggestions for Amendment to New Immigration Bill

I only have one thing to say about the proposed Immigration Bill, but first here's what good ol' Rummy Kennedy says about it:

"“The agreement is the best possible chance we will have in years to secure our borders and bring millions of people out of the shadows and into the sunshine of America.”

Would that sunshine of America include Martha's Vineyard? Will Teddy invite the 12 million illegal aliens who will now be legal (quicker than the time it takes to cook minute rice) to any football games at his place on the Vineyard? I THINK NOT!!

Viva la Teddy!

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Also, someone sent this to me a while ago, and I've seen it on the internet now in several places. Here is a solution of hard-working, tax-paying US Citizens who are sick of immigrants living off our Welfare system:


As a natural born US Citizen, and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stem from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill’s provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and no income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I’m excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year. Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as “in-state” tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver’s license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

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